[Steady Reign]

For as long as marketing has existed, the food and beverage industry has put out some absurd products.  Sometimes combining two good things doesn’t make it better, as you will find out below.  I’ve compiled a list with my thoughts and final verdict of each product.

Meatball Bubble Gum
Some collaborations make sense, like peanut butter and jelly, but Meatball flavor and Bubble Gum? How does combining the salty taste of meat with the sweet taste of gum make any sense? They even designed the box to look like a box of spaghetti!
Verdict: Failed

Raspberry Wasabi
The sight of wasabi automatically makes me think of sushi, never a fruit, especially raspberry, and I wouldn’t think anyone else would either. This is a great example of the combination of two unlikely items to produce an ever weirder product.
Verdict: Failed

Crystal Pepsi
For a cola conglomerate, switching to a clear formula was a foreign endeavor for Pepsi. Crystal Pepsi was introduced in the early 90s to satisfy the marketing fad of equating purity and health to the clear formula. The drink was pulled from shelves several months later due to the drop in sales. Crystal Pepsi tasted much like its original formula but changing a classic formula to cater to a changing fad was in bad taste; no pun intended. It’s a cool concept and I wish I was able to find some today.
Verdict: Failed yet still cool

Weird Jerky
Tony, this one is for you. I know you love your “jerked” meat from REI but have you tried Kangaroo jerky before? How about Crocodile, Alligator, Ostrich, or wild Boar Jerky?
Verdict: Epic

Ketchup chips
This may seem like a very peculiar collaboration but Ketchup chips are pretty tasty! It has a tangy flavor with a sweet aftertaste, leaving your mouth craving for more. I have never seen it in the United States but in Canada it is a common occurrence. There are many brands that offer this flavor but Old Dutch makes the best Ketchup chips with offerings in both a bag or a box. Next time you make a trip to Canada, be sure to pick up a pack of Ketchup Chips. You won’t be disappointed!
Verdict: Epic

Double Big Mac
As if the issue of gluttony wasn’t bad enough in a regular Big Mac that they needed to double it. I have only seen this burger being offered in Canada and when I saw it I HAD to get it. Yes, it tastes as gross as it looks. There’s more meat than bread, which is all that you can taste. This epitomizes the axiom of “too much of a good thing is bad”. Or in this case, too much of a bad thing doesn’t make it good.
Verdict: Failed

Chocolate skittles
Is this just M&Ms or it is skittles’ candy with chocolate flavor? My curiosity got to me that I bought some just to try. There are five chocolate themed flavors: S’mores, Vanilla, Chocolate Caramel, Chocolate Pudding, and Brownie batter. Each piece is coated with a thin layer of candy covering a semi-hard chewy chocolate flavored Skittle. Every piece has a distinct enough flavor that when combine more than one in your mouth it becomes sensory overload. This works fine with normal skittles because they’ll all sweet but with these you have multiple levels of chocolate in your mouth that it doesn’t work very well.
Verdict: Failed

Cheese Ramen
Previously mentioned in the Daily section, Top Ramen cheese flavor does not equate to Cheese Ramen that you can get at a ramen house. Would this taste like Macaroni and cheese swimming in water?
Verdict: Watery Macaroni and Cheese = Failed

Charcoal Toothpaste
This next one is not technically a food but weird enough to be covered. Who had the smart idea of combining charcoal with toothpaste should be fired. When I think of good flavors, charcoal would not be the first flavor that comes to mind. The only time charcoal would ever come to mind is when I’m making a fire! Apparently this is a flavor of toothpaste sold in Korea but I don’t know how well it sells. If anyone can get me some I’ll try it!
Verdict: Epic Fail

Baconnaise
What do you get when you mix Bacon with Mayonnaise? Why, Baconnaise of course! My initial reaction was one of disgust but the more I see it, the more I want to try it. Is this wrong? Your local QFC sells Baconnaise products. On a nutrition level, Baconnaise isn’t that bad:

They also have products in the realm of seasoning salt with many offerings of flavor:

This one, however, is the weirdest product that they offer:

Cure chapped lips with the taste of bacon! mmmmmm

Verdict: Curiously Epic

Canned Foods
The number one spot is so good that I had to give it its own category: canned foods.

Silk Worm Pupae: Yes please

Lamb Tongues: sure, why not

Bread in a can: so fresh!

BBQ Roasted Scorpions: always

Roasted Crickets WITH eggs: I love eggs!

Thai Green Curry with Crocodile: why does this look good?

Pork Brains in Milk Gravy: look at the cholesterol on this thing!

Rattlesnake: I would love some rattlesnake (sarcasm)

Cheeseburger in a can:

Last but not least, Cheeseburger in a can. Yes, you heard right, Cheeseburger in a can! This has to be one of the wildest food ideas ever! Someone must have loved burgers so much that they thought it sounded like a good idea to put it into a can. The thought of SPAM is weird enough but not only did they run with the idea but they took it to the next level! I can only imagine how soggy that bun would be. Someone get this into my hands and I’ll try it!
You can purchase this delicious Cheeseburger here.
Check out the full review here

Verdict: judgment reserved until consumption

This post is tagged Alligator, Baconnaise, Charcoal Toothpaste, Cheese Top Ramen, Cheeseburger in a Can, Chocolate skittles, Clear Pepsi, Crocodile, Crystal Pepsi, Double Big Mac, Jerky, Kangaroo, Ketchup chips, Meatball bubble Gum, Old Ductch, Ostrich, Raspberry Wasabi, Weird foods, wild Boar